For Husband

Funny Birthday Quotes for Husband

Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes

Do you have a husband who loves to joke around with you and others? Can he take a joke as well as he can dish them out? If the answer is yes, why not give your husband a hilarious birthday surprise this year by writing your own personalized humorous birthday greeting for him? Your husband will be blown away by your wit and creativity. So rather than getting him another sentimental or corny birthday card, this year, write out a message that will be sure to give your husband the kind of knee-slapping reaction he loves to see in others!

It may seem intimidating to come up with your very own funny birthday greeting, but the key is to keep it simple. Just follow these easy steps and you will be writing a hysterical birthday message in no time.

First, think about all the character qualities that you find hilarious about the most important man in your life. Does he pass gas in public and then try to blame it on you or someone else? Does he assume that he’s got the right idea, and then sheepishly have to admit after trying it his way and failing miserably that you were right all along? Does he sing off key loudly in the shower and always get the song lyrics wrong? If there’s anything that cracks you up about your hubby, write it as a part of your funny birthday message to him.

Next, if you’re brave enough to broach a delicate subject you can rib him about his age as a part of your funny birthday message. Every couple has their own line of appropriateness in this area, so use your own judgment when you decide exactly how far you can go with the teasing without actually hurting your husband’s feelings. These kinds of jokes can be especially applicable to milestone birthdays, such as a 30th, 40th and 50th birthday. Is your husband’s hair starting to gray or thin a bit on top? Is he putting on a few pounds or getting some wrinkles? As long as your husband is the type who truly does not mind being teased about these appearances of age, feel free to incorporate them into a birthday message. It may sweeten the joke a bit if you remind him that even though neither of you are as young as you once were you still consider him the sweet, sexy man that caught your attention all those years ago.

Next, you can throw in some inside jokes about your intimate life that only the two of you will fully appreciate. Do you have any funny romantic memories to bring a smile to his face?

Finally, make sure that you put in a few words telling how much you love and appreciate him and then wish him the happiest of birthdays. Your husband will be thrilled that you took the time to come up with a cute, clever funny birthday message to brighten up his special day!


You’re a wonderful husband but a horrible cook
You stole an awesome wife like me, you sure are a crook
But on your big day I just want you to know
I’ll wait until you’re a bit older before I go!

You’re an excellent man, I love you so much, honey!
Well, you I’m indifferent about, but I sure love your money!

To a husband who never takes his shoes up the stairs,
I put the same effort into your birthday, guess no one cares!

To a hubby who shows me love every morning
Today I promise not to act like all your stories are boring
I’ll smile and nod while you drone on and on
And for my birthday, next year, make your stories less long?

You don’t do the dishes and you forget other chores
You ignore my request and at night even snore
But today it’s my job to ignore all those things
And act like I love like angels with wings!

You used to be fit and you used to be funny
If it weren’t for your money, I’d sure leave you, hunny!

Marriage takes effort, energy and grit
If I hadn’t singed a prenup I would’ve already quit
But since we’re in it for the long haul, I guess I should say
I love you, my dear, happiest of birthdays!

Happy birthday to a man who forgets important dates
Just in case you’re wondering why this card is two days late

Love is a feeling that swells deep in your chest
At least so I’m told, all you make me feel is stress!
Picking up after you has left me in tatters
But it’s your birthday, so for one day, none of that matters!

You’re an amazing lover and you’re my best friend
If I could do it all over, I’d marry you again
On your birthday just know you’re the apple of my eye
And you can no longer distinguish when I choose to lie!

You forgot our anniversary and you forgot my birthday
So I forgot to make a cake, pick one up, okay?

Our lives are intertwined and I couldn’t be prouder
There’s no other man that shouts at the TV any louder
You have perfect couch-lounging form and procrastinate with the best
How could a woman like me, not be impressed?

You’re a liability two-thirds of the time
I have nothing nice to say…end of this rhyme.

To a man who I married many, many years ago
You’re managed to trap me like a true hunting pro
So here’s to another many, many years
And yes, that is sarcasm you hear in my cheers

You’re handy with a hammer and skillful with a saw
On your birthday, my dear, just know I’m in awe
That you have such abilities that are hard to ignore
So why’s it so hard for you to just sweep the floor?!

As the love of my life, I want you to know
I was so eager to marry year some years ago
Since then I have changed my mind
Enclosed are some papers I’d like you to sign…

Happy Birthday to the guy who always knows
Where the radiator, springs and brake pad goes
You’ve always been able to mow a mean lawn
Even if it means getting me up at the crack of dawn

You’re the one who manages to work all day long
And still walk in for dinner humming a song
You’ll sit on the couch and watch your TV shows
Through the tips of your old socks out poke your toes

We’ve become so comfortable you’ve shown me so much
Even though we’re married you still want to go Dutch
It makes me laugh all your funny little quips
And your suggestions are often more than just tips

But I love you my husband and all you’re about
I’m so happy that you married such a knockout
We’re both lucky that you found such a wonderful girl
So I can entertain you daily and rock your world

So happy happy birthday I wish you the best
You’re more than just an angel I must often confess
Sent from up above to guide me on my way
To challenge my limited sports knowledge every single day

You always show up promptly while I don’t mind being late
I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on straight
At least that’s what you tell me and I admit it’s true
So I finally give you credit for once when it’s due

You don’t mind washing dishes and you shovel the snow
You often go shopping with me as I spend all the dough
You kindly buy me flowers even when I’ve been a jerk
Your amazing persistence is what makes our love work

A husband so wonderful is so incredibly hard to find
When you were my boyfriend I’d clearly made up my mind
That a guy who buys me dinner and listens to me yap
Is a guy I should hold on to and never really scrap

You’ve shown me love so tender without too many tears
You still tell me I look pretty when my make up smears
You’re such a strong man who I can always trust
To open tough jars of spaghetti with a powerful thrust

Where would I be without you? How would I ever know
With some guy who isn’t you probably some ordinary schmoe
I wouldn’t be as happy I can guarantee you that
I might just be living alone and curled up with my cat

I’m thankful that you entered my life in every single way
And I hope you enjoy your special cake on this birthday
You’ll probably eat more than a piece but that’s more than fine
I’ll be content just knowing that you’ll always be mine

So happy birthday husband I know I often make fun
But only because I know without a doubt you’re the one
Love is not a strong enough word to describe what I sense
When you hold me near I know our love is immense